Michiko: Mary Sue Extraordinaire
by Just Cy
Summary: An entry for Essence of Gold's Mary Sue Contest, this has some serious Mary Sue bashing. Rated T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

** Hello all, I am attempting to dig into my mind and try to write a story like the kind I wrote when I was ten years old, in other words a Mary Sue fic, so I'm going to be making fun of it ****a lot****. This is an entry for Essence of Gold's Mary Sue Contest.**

** Before I get into the disclaimer I'd like to explain how I chose which of the three types of Sue I decided to use. I have two dogs, one of them is eight, and he's an old curmudgeon and is currently trying to get into the pantry, actually if you'll excuse me for a moment I'm going to go stop him……….Okay, back, Rupbert, the curmudgeon is representing the Subtle Sues. My other dog, Samson, will be two in April and he is spastic and my choice term for him is idiotically happy, he's representing the nauseatingly happy ditzy air headed Sues.**

**To decide which to use I got them in a game of tug-of-war and told them, "You're fighting so I can decide which type of abomination to create, ok? This is incredibly important, you two, so I'm offering a prize. Rupbert, I will give go out and get you a cow rib, Samson, I promise the rubbings for an hour." Rupbert won and I had to go beg my aunt for the left over cow ribs from the last cows of hers she had slaughtered. I worked quite well.**

**Wow, that's the longest author's note I've ever written… Anyway, I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew.**

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Ichigo was walking down the street for no real reason at all when she bumped into a very pretty girl that was taller, older, prettier, and obviously smarter than her.

"Wow, you're really pretty!" Ichigo said to this stranger.

"And you look like you took several pounds of strawberries, squeezed the juice out of them and dumped all of it on your hair," she snapped.

"Wow, you're so cool!" she said completely out-of-character even though her precious hair had just been insulted and she would have bit anyone else head off.

"Leave me alone," this stranger snarled.

"No, you have to come with me so Ryou can make you a mew and we can hang out all the time," Ichigo persisted, she would already die for this stranger for no apparent reason.

"No!" she shoved the red-head away and ran for it, Ichigo looked dejected and stood there pouting for awhile.

She heard an explosion and rushed to the source to find the girl beat the ground but she just stood up, "That didn't hurt," Ichigo threw a pendant at the girl and she yelled out, "MEW MEW MICHIKO METAMORPHOSIS!"

Her long forest green colored hair turned black and her eyes that had changed with her mood turned a steady red, her outfit looked just like Lettuce's but it was black and she had on red gloves.

Ichigo transformed as well and tried her attack on the rat chimera that looked just like the one she beat in the first episode, she summoned her weapon and poised for attack, "Ribbon Strawberry Surprise!" It had no effect, "What, nya?!" she was surprised.

Michiko summoned an ornate looking bow and arrow, "Ribbon Michiko Kyoodia!" and the arrow instantly killed the rat.

"Wow, you're so strong, and now that you're a mew you have to come with me so Ryou can explain what's going on!" she dragged the girl to the café.

"I don't want to do this, and there's no point if your powers don't work anymore!" Michiko shouted, she had turned back to her beautiful self and was about ready to punch the red head.

Ryou came out, "Wow, who's your friend, Strawberry?" he asked in awe of the girl even though the original makers of TMM obviously made him in love with Ichigo.

"This is Michiko," she said and gestured to the fuming green-haired girl.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she shoved the blonde that was randomly standing in front of her even though he had been on the other side of the room. She ran out of the café and Ryou seemed in awe even though he was still on the ground.

"Wow, she obviously has some dark past, I'm going to make her smile again," he vowed completely out of character.

"What?" Lettuce seemed crushed, she had lost Ryou twice now, once to Ichigo, and now to this strange girl that no one seemed to know anything about, so she decided in an equally out of character decision that she would now have feelings for Pai.

"So both of us have had Ryou stolen from us," Ichigo said sadly.

"But aren't you in love with Masaya?" Lettuce asked using his first name since no one ever actually uses his first name despite the fact that everyone, Lettuce especially, wouldn't ever call him that without knowing him longer.

"Yes," she said making no sense at all, wait in a fic such as this she would have said, "No, Ryou is the only guy for me," just to stay out of character.

Michiko returned to the café, a wolf padding behind her, everyone thought she found Zakuro, not knowing she had kept this pet and it was the only thing she allowed to remain from her past.

Kisshu showed up and found this new mew," Hey, Kitten, whose your friend?" he licked his lips, the only in character thing anyone's done in this fic, even though it isn't completely because we all know he's about to say, "I think I found a new toy," with a smirk.

"The names Michiko freak, and get out of her before I do something drastic," she glared at him but it was completely ok since she was a jerk to everyone because of her dark past that made it so no one would resent her for it. Besides if they did the authoress would just kill them later.

"Michiko, hmm, fitting, beautiful and wise, why don't you come with me to my planet?" he asked.

"Go to hell," she snarled.

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**So, what do you think? I hope I got some laughs out of this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I haven't updated in awhile, so here we go, I own nothing… err, well, unfortunately Michiko is mine.**

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Michiko woke up panting, clutching her chest, her hair in perfect order because she _totally hadn't been _rolling around during the night mare that she had every single night. She looked at her pet wolf that was comfortably curled up at her feet. She sighed and thought of the accident eleven years ago that had taken her parents lives that the authoress really doesn't need to describe because if she did that would make coherent sense and take away from the mystery she created about this girl she was too lazy- I mean brilliant enough to not give her a last name.

"Mich-i-ko," she heard someone and randomly pulled out a sword and went to the window.

"Kishu, what the hell are you doing here?" she snarled, no wait, I used that already, she _growled_ at him.

"Kidnapping you of course," he said, and grabbed her and teleported her away before she could object.

She punched him in the face and he rolled to the floor, "Ow, that hurt, for that you must be punished," he said summoning his Dragon Swords. She felt completely helpless, even though she could've transformed, and memories of the accident came back to her, she did _not_ like being helpless.

Pai came in and resented the girl completely for being a general bitch because of an accident no one knew about, "You're a bitch," he told her and immediately died at her glare because the authoress takes comments like that personally and kills everyone that dislikes the Sue.

"So, Michiko, since you're trapped here and I'm completely ok with Pai dying, wanna make out?" Kish asked.

"Sure," she said even though she had refused and knew he was her enemy. They started making out and were about to take things a step further when Tart came in and nearly gagged at the sight of the two, which completely ruined the moment so he died, and then Michiko realized what she had done and was disgusted. "Damn, you're an alien, I can't do this," she said and jumped off the ship, then, even though her DNA wasn't mixed with that of a cat she landed a several thousand foot jump perfectly with no injuries and ran off crying in an alley.

Ryou came into the alley for no apparent reason and pried her story out of her through some means the authoress won't reveal because it would get rid of the mystery that no longer surrounds her, "You know, I really love you," he said.

She didn't respond, she couldn't say the word love, even after she had someone to share the burden with, but she certainly showed it because the two made love in the filthy alley but she somehow still looked absolutely gorgeous while Ryou looked a wreck. Then Kish showed up with an alien army because he felt jilted.

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**Ok, so it's a short chapter in what's going to be a short story, but at least it's funny…**


	3. Ze End

**I'm back, though I have the feeling I haven't been missed because I have no reviews and feel like I'm talking to myself.**

**So I own nothing, well, I guess Michiko is mine… dang it.**

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Michiko stood dumb struck by the alien army, this would suck and be a dire situation were it anyone but the dark haired brooding new mew in it. But because it was Michiko she smiled a sadistic smile, Kish was glad he had made her smile after all these years even if he knew it meant the death of him.

And indeed it did, Michiko transformed and fired her all powerful attack at the alien and he immediately died. She felt a twinge of sadness and then looked at the other aliens who looked at her with their eyes empty, they just sort of stood there pawns of the authoress that didn't really think on their own.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked them getting angry.

"Mew Michiko, hang in there!" Ichigo called needlessly, and since she couldn't do anything, no longer having powers, Michiko just glared at her and she died, her last words, "At least I'll be with Kish!"

"He's mine even in death!" Michiko said.

"What about me?" Ryou asked, his bedraggled form looking even more pathetic.

"I'll always l-l-, well you know what I mean."

"But I'm sworn to protect her!" the Blue Knight cried out, showing up out of nowhere. He and Ryou got in a fight, they both died.

"NOOOOO!!!!!!" Michiko cried out, tears streaming down her face, "I won't be alone again!" she cried, clenching her three love interest to her chest, she glowed and the glow transferred to them and she died as they came back.

"Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!" one of the aliens cried out and they all died.

"She died for us," Ryou said to state the obvious.

"We can't let her do that!" Kish said, the other mews came up to offer moral support.

"I love a sad ending," a deep voice said, someone who looked exactly like Deep Blue but with white hair and a red outfit, " I am Deep Fire, here to destroy the world."

The Blue Knight glared at him, "I won't let you hurt Michiko any more than you already have, we'll revive her!"

"How touching," he said and the two got in a sword battle. All three of the boys life force split in half and poured into Michiko, she sat up and transformed, everything about her outfit was now white, including her weapon.

She fired her attack and Deep Fire died, Michiko embraced all three of the boys, " I love you all," she said and knew she had to pick, and erase the others memories of her so they wouldn't feel spiteful. And since the authoress likes the pairing of the Blue Knight and Lettuce the Blue Knight was out, and she also liked Pudding and Kish so this left Ryou, which was a good choice since they had had sex.

She erased the others two memories filling their thoughts with Lettuce and Pudding and the three couples started making out, and Zakuro and Mint, feeling neglected started to as well.

And they all live happily ever after, well, except Deep Fire, Pai, Ichigo, and Tart, they were all kinda dead.

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**Well, I hope this as inspired many laughs, and I haven't decided whether or not to do an epilogue. So either good bye, or I'll see you later. Someone please review.**


End file.
